From massage parlor to Commerce ministry… the minister has something to say about thai exports

… So you should listen. Religiously.

If you don’t understand my title, have a look here : The Gallery of the Frankenstein Government.

The Commerce Minister had some… links with… Poseidon, a famous… special… massage parlor (ah ah ah) on Ratchada in Bangkok.

Ready ? Go.

Commerce Minister Pornthiva Nakasai on Thursday said she still hopes this year’s export growth would be between zero and three per cent albeit many agencies forecast that it would face a negative growth. (Bangkok Post)

Pornthiva needs to understand that a growth of zero percent doesn’t mean much. 😉 However, we can praise her enthusiasm and optimism…

The Ministry of Commerce would not lose face even if exports may fall because the ministry will continue working to its potential and will not be discouraged, according to Mrs Pornthiva.

Mai pen rai that the cause of her optimism is totally inane : to not lose face. But we do feel confident : she’s working.

If the government adjusts some regulations and facilitates traders, the export figures should grow as initially projected, the minister said, adding that Thai commerce officials stationed overseas were assigned to conduct in-depth marketing reports and monitor foreign markets closely.

This is an impressive plan. To conduct in-depth (the “in-depth” is very important) marketing reports will of course create (from thin air) more demand in those countries. Businesses and people will certainly become more solvent and will buy more thai goods. Just to please Pornthiva. It’s important to please Pornthiva.

She said there are still new markets for Thai products to explore after imports in the United States plunged because of the economic crisis.

Besides the US and Chinese markets, Thai exporters can still penetrate other markets in Russia and the Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS), she said.

New markets ? Where ? On the moon ? In another solar system ?

Have a look at thai exports per destination (chart here). Russia ? Russia’s economy is going south, very quickly, and with a currency in free fall… I repeat : free fall.

The ruble slumped 35 percent against the dollar since August” (Bloomberg). Thailand is exporting in USD… Pornthiva should be ashamed of her grotesque ignorance.

In those conditions, to say that this country can import more from Thailand is not just deeply stupid : it’s also highly entertaining. 😉

Anyway. We should thank the Minister for her brillant thoughts about thai exports. We certainly feel more confident. I do.

Now, it’s time for me to go to the… massage parlor. To relax myself. 😉  Bonne nuit.

6 Responses to “From massage parlor to Commerce ministry… the minister has something to say about thai exports”

  1. 1 World Citizen 26 February 2009 at 8:50 pm

    TC: Unfortunately, it gets worse!

    For some months, Thailand, despite the fact that the worldwide textile sector is under severe stress (effortlessly Googled -pun), has been pumping the textile industry stating that 100s of thousands of jobs are available. I can only assume that the Martians on their latest R&R trip to Poseiden must have let it slip (pun) that they were looking to place an exceptionally large order for uniforms and size-11 shoes (pun). And, that a Uranusian (masquerading as a really ugly farang) from Uranus (what the freak was really looking for – pun) promised that millions of Uranusians were looking to spend their vacations in luxuries Thai hotels & procure condominiums.


  2. 2 ThaiCrisis 26 February 2009 at 9:07 pm

    Don’t worry : Abhisit will save thai people with the 2000 THB special allowance. GPD is going to increase by 455445564 %. Life is sweet.

    Sorry. I can’t stop to make this joke.

    The title of my blog is no longer appropriate. It’s not ThaiCrisis. It’s FreakingWorldCrisis.

    Read the latest news from CalculatedRisk. You’ll feel an urgent need to puke.

    -FDIC: Number of Problem Banks Increases Sharply in Q4
    -U.S. May Backstop AIG CDS
    -Obama Budget: $250 Billion for TARP II
    -Record Low New Home Sales in January
    -GM Expects ‘Going Concern’ Notice
    -Weekly Claims: Continued Claims Over 5 Million

    The Titanic is going down at light speed… People just don’t get it.

    I’m totally depressed.

  3. 3 World Citizen 26 February 2009 at 10:37 pm

    TC: The global crisis is far from over – in fact, it has only just begun! And yes, most people don’t get it despite yours and others numerous links to articles such as ‘Calculated Risk.’

    Although “FreakingWorldCrisis” is accurate, that is not the focus of this outstanding blog, (“The purpose of this blog is to help foreigners [us, farangs] to avoid the propaganda, to try to correctly assess the situation. Many of us have interests and affection for this country.”). Notwithstanding this statement, Thailand’s current state of affairs needs assessment in light of current world events.

    Thailand is small fry, but may, if it takes the right decisions, & stops copying other countries flawed panic measures come out this better than most. HM the King is right – first look to self-sufficiency.

  4. 4 Mark 27 February 2009 at 7:36 am

    Given her previous business experience perhaps “Porn”thiva could “pump” some additional business into the Commerce Ministry. She could select all the cute under-worked secretaries in the ministry to move to a new “Ministry of Massage”, and encourage any low-ranking policeman who receive the 2,000 baht bonus to spend it at the new ministry instead of their usual massage parlor. This way everyone gets a happy ending.

  5. 5 27 February 2009 at 7:40 am

    Rather than talking about “self-sufficiency” I’d say “developing a real domestic market”…

    Because the way “self-sufficiency” is touted (by politicians who endorse it) in Thailand does not really sound like aiming at lifting the standard of living of countryside people: it rather sounds like a scheme to keep people away from trying to climb the social ladder or from starting to voice their opinions…

  6. 6 fall 27 February 2009 at 4:28 pm

    May be she’s thinking along the line of legalizing prostitute or mail order bride? It’s hardly a hush-hush business in Thailand anyway, so let’s capitalize on it!
    There are just so many other countries that still have not come to know Thailand as the land of sea, sand, and sex…

    Now that, she can at least claim expertise.

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Thailand Crisis

Coup, Economic slowdown, Terror In the South... The situation is worsening in Thailand. Bumpy road like often before.

But this time, it's different.

The key to understand the present turmoil is the inevitable... succession of King Bhumibol.

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