Commerce Ministry auto evaluation : “in 3 months, we did a good job”

The Commerce Ministry is pleased with the 4 stimulus measures, being optimistic that the 1.1 trillion US dollars budget approved by the G20 London Summit injected into the world economy would help boost Thai exports in the world market.

Today (April 4th) Mr. Alongkorn Ponlaboot, a Deputy Commerce Minister, announced the evaluation summary of the ministry’s performance during the past 3 months, stating the 4 stimulus measures for this quarter which are 1) monitoring Thailand’s cost of living and boosting consumption 2) monitoring the price of agricultural products with the 1.3 trillion baht approved budget 3) the successful 14th ASEAN Summit and 4) the export promotion plan for the 692 projects, which have yielded a satisfactory result.

Mr. Alongkorn also expressed his optimistic belief that once the 1.1 trillion US dollars budget approved by the G20 London Summit is injected into the world economy, it would help boost Thai exports in the world market. Despite the current negative export growth during the second half of this year, Thailand should start witnessing an improvement in export growth. (PRD)

A nice piece of government’s propaganda. But it’s always fun to look at it, like an entomologist.

First, the auto-evaluation (ah ah ah) of 3 months of “work ” (ah ah ah).

1) monitoring Thailand’s cost of living and boosting consumption

Consumption is crashing. What about “monitoring” ? What does it mean ? “Hey guys, you won’t believe it ! I am monitoring, it’s great ! It’s hard work. I feel exhausted, I need a drink”.

2) monitoring the price of agricultural products with the 1.3 trillion baht approved budget

Prices are under pressure (look at rice). Anyway, “monitoring” (again !) sounds good. Better than : “I’m a lazy and corrupted politician and I don’t give a fuck“. Yeah it sounds better. Definitely.

3) the successful 14th ASEAN Summit

Yes indeed, the Commerce Ministry did a good job… with the choice of snack for the cocktail party. Bravo.

4) the export promotion plan for the 692 projects, which have yielded a satisfactory result.

Very satisfactory results indeed, mission accomplished : exports are crashing.

Last point that shows the genius of the G20. The thai suckers really believe that those famous 1100 billions USD are real money (merely budgets already decided, and for the rest… new debts).

And because they are so gullible, they foresee already millions (billions ? Yeah, sounds better) of foreigners who will quickly spend all this virtual money…. to buy thai stuff of course. Just to please Thailand and to increase its exports. Thank you. 😉

When wishful thinking meets… total mediocrity.

[Now that we can assess the true level of the Deputy Minister… I would like to remind you the level… of the Minister. It’s a she. And she’s very close to… the trade. In any case, it’s a good point for any Commerce Minister… Have a look on the Frankenstein Ministers gallery, you’ll understand.]

9 Responses to “Commerce Ministry auto evaluation : “in 3 months, we did a good job””


  1. 1 Bedwyr 6 April 2009 at 3:14 am

    I was always taught that ‘self-praise is scant recommendation’.

    But it seems to be the only thing Thais have got. Everyone else thinks they’re idiots.

    Bedwyr

  2. 2 fall 6 April 2009 at 5:49 am

    Well, Thailand did have THE world smallest aircraft carrier. So it’s possible for Abhisit to give speech with background of aircraft landing and “mission accomplished” sign…

  3. 3 Bedwyr 6 April 2009 at 8:46 am

    Aircraft carrier?

    They’ve only got 3 planes and didn’t one of those crash or bump into something?

    And they want a submarine, you can’t even see out of one of those things. I expect they will bump into quite a lot of things. Singapore, China, Korea…

    Where would we be if they ever got any good at something? We wouldn’t be able to take the piss any more.

    Bedwyr

  4. 4 Phoenix 6 April 2009 at 12:06 pm

    TC. Here a truly funny article about the plans of the boss of TAT to boost tourism. I laughed aloud when i read that post. Hilarious stuuf, I can’t believe he meant that serious.

    http://www.bangkokpost.com/business/economics/14627/tourism-s-eternal-optimist

  5. 5 ThaiCrisis 6 April 2009 at 12:36 pm

    Oh my god… I didn’t read this article… I was too busy this morning… But it’s a real winner ! A tasty gold medal. A perfect piece for my “Weird/bigotery” category.
    😉
    The part about the “long distance cycling” is totally surreal. I love it.

    That’s the beauty : even during a day with no real news, i’ts always possible to find a “gem”.

  6. 6 Phoenix 6 April 2009 at 2:50 pm

    TC; yeah, I always wondered who organizes those tours of long-distance bikers with their large teams that pass through Thailand from Laos and move on to Malaysia.. geez.. only in BKK during my last stay I saw dozens of them! Don’t they have that “Long Distance Biker Lodges” every 10 miles between Chiang Mai and Sonkhla? I swear the Bangkok Post once wrote something about that 😉

  7. 7 ThaiCrisis 6 April 2009 at 3:15 pm

    Sure. And we all know that those crazy people who love to spend days on their bicycles under the hard sun of Thailand are “millionaires” like the Tourism Minister said. 😉

  8. 8 World Insanity 6 April 2009 at 5:00 pm

    KEYSTONE COPS
    A cyclist was stopped by customs at the border crossing: “What’s in the bags?” asked the officer, pointing to his bags. “Sand,” said the cyclist. “Let me take a look,” said the cop. The cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, refilled the bags, and continued across the border. A week later, the same thing happened, and continued every week for a year, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few months later, the cop saw the cyclist living it up downtown. “You sure fooled us,” said the cop. “We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won’t say a word – but what was it you were smuggling?” “Bicycles” replied the cyclist.

    Dedication
    My grandma starting cycling at 97 years of age, she must have done 10 miles per day………….. we don’t know where the heck she is!

    YAKITI YAK… DON’T TALK BACK
    The tandem rider is stopped by a police car. “What’ve I done officer?” asks the cyclist. Perhaps you didn’t notice sir, but your wife fell off your back seat half a mile back…” “Oh, thank God for that,” says the cyclist… “I thought I’d gone deaf!”

    BEAUTIFUL
    A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl stopped beside him on her shiny bike. “Nice bike” says the cop… “Did Santa bring it to you?” “Yep,” the little girl said, “He sure did!” The cop looked the bike over and handed the little girl a Baht 500 fine for a safety violation, saying “Next year tell Santa to put a light on the front of it.” The young girl looked up at the horse and then the cop and said, “Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?” “Yes, he sure did,” chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, “Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.”

  9. 9 Fish 7 April 2009 at 2:59 am

    One market he is very interested in is long-distance cycling. Tourists in this group will spend as much as 60,000 baht per person per day and many of them are millionaires, he noted. Rich long-distance cyclists have big teams of assistants for their safety. They have ambulances and tents, for example, and are lavish spenders;;;;

    He is dreaming i rode my bike the length of this country and were pushed to spend more than 2,000 baht a day..60,000 a day..on what sun cream..or maybe the really expensive lunch stop in the arse end of nowhere.. Lavish spenders are they with “tents”!!??? so they like camping these rich cyclists…

    A never ending stream of piss from this goverment..!

    I love the last joke World Insanity


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Thailand Crisis

Coup, Economic slowdown, Terror In the South... The situation is worsening in Thailand. Bumpy road like often before.

But this time, it's different.

The key to understand the present turmoil is the inevitable... succession of King Bhumibol.


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